Unworthy
by Apple-chan
Summary: He did not want to protect her, for in his eyes, she was weak. In his eyes, she did not deserve him. NejixHinata.


**Unworthy  
by Apple-chan **

Disclaimer: I am _horrible_ at drawing, so how can anyone think it's mine?

Summary: He did not want to protect her, for in his eyes, she was weak. In his eyes, she didn't deserve him. Neji/Hinata.

Spoilers: Not quite sure. Preliminary matches for the Chuunin Exam, and…thereafter?

Warnings: Angst, and…slight romance? Rated PG/K+

* * *

In his childhood, he had loved her. As a child of four years old, he had not realized it for what it was. But it was there, and it was love. 

When he had seen his father being tortured firsthand by none other than his own brother—his own uncle, and _her_ father…more than anything, he was confused. Later on, upon reaching home and catching himself in front of the mirror, he had gazed upon the mark, the seal that was embedded upon his own forehead—it was the very same seal that was in his father's. The one that has caused his father so much pain—and it was his own brother who had made it possible.

He couldn't understand it then. He was four years old—too young to understand such complicated matters. Too young to be burdened with such hardship. Too young to be made aware that he was destined never to be free—the accursed seal had made that certain.

When his father had died…when he had seen his father's body lying lifeless in one of the areas in the main house, he felt his heart smash into pieces. His father had died for the sake of the family. His father had died for the sake of the head—for the sake of _her_ father.

And…for _her_ sake.

At that moment, it became clear to him what the accursed seal really meant. He had been too young, certainly—but it cannot be avoided. He found out something that he had been better off not knowing.

Regardless of his will, regardless of his many hopes and dreams, and regardless of the people who loved him—whether he liked it or not, he was destined to protect _her_—and her family—with _his_ life. To be hurt, so that _she_ wouldn't be. To fall, so that _she_ wouldn't. To suffer, so that _she_ wouldn't.

And to _die_—so that _she_ can live.

_His_ life for _hers_.

And that was when he began to hate her. He hated her family, he hated her father, he hated every single member of the main house, hated every single one of their ancestors for creating this stupid arrangement. But most of all, he hated _her_—he hated her for living, for breathing, for even existing. He hated her for who she was—the heiress of the main house. He hated her, because in the eyes of her family, in the eyes of everyone, _she_ was the main reason for his existence.

But his hatred went a little farther than that. He hated her most especially _because_ she was weak. So incredibly weak. The heir of the main house—the family who was supposed to be the strongest—was _weak_.

He could not protect someone like that. He would _not_ protect someone like that.

In the preliminary matches, he had hurt her enough to draw blood. Because of his anguish, his bitterness, his pain—he had hurt her, even though he had been tasked, as a member of the branch family, to protect her.

But he did not want to protect her, because she was weak. She did not deserve his protection. She did not deserve _him_.

Or so he had thought.

He hated her, he knew that well enough. He hated her for being the heiress of the main house, he hated her for being weak, he hated her for being able to control the accursed seal that was branded into his forehead, and he hated her for being one of the causes for his father's death. He hated her, for every single time he looks at her, he is reminded of all the pain that his family had gone through—all the pain _he_ had gone through, years ago.

All the pain that he still had, even now.

When their names had been matched up in the preliminary matches during the third part of Chuunin exam, he thought he had been given the perfect opportunity to extract revenge on the heiress that had made him suffer so. He thought that, this time around, _he_ would be the one to cause her pain.

This time around, _he_ would make her feel all the hopelessness, the anguish, and the pain that _he_ had gone-no, that he was _still_ going through. He would make her feel everything. He would give her all his wounds—wounds that continued to bleed, and stubbornly refused to heal. He would pour out all the frustration and desperation that he felt for this accursed destiny that had been laid out for him—he would pour it all out to her, until he was completely empty and devoid and cleansed of it all. And until that happens, he would not stop.

…And he would hurt her. He would inflict the most excruciatingly unbearable pain on her heart. He would touch her a million times with his Jyuuken, not stopping until he was completely satisfied. Not stopping until her heart understood the pain that his heart had gone through when his father had died. Not stopping until her heart bleeds in torrents…and not stopping until it dies.

When his father died, _his_ own heart had died along with him.

One last aim, one final strike at her heart…and she had fallen, never to get up again. No matter how many times she tried, the result was the same. From the moment they were matched up—at the instant that her name had appeared on that board right along with his—she had been destined to lose.

She would not—_could_ not—win against him. She could _never_ win against him, for he was strong, while she…_she_ was weak. And she would always be weak, because that was her destiny.

In this world, the weak would always remain weak, and a failure would always be a failure, no matter what.

Just like the two of them.

_She_ was of the main house, destined to dominate, to control, to rule, to live...and _he_ was of the branch house, destined to yield, to be manipulated, to follow…and to die.

_Accept your destiny,_ that was what he had told her. _Realize that it can never be changed…and suffer. Suffer from all that. Feel the hopelessness of who you are. _

He did not know it then. He had always been called a genius, yet…this simple fact had escaped his senses.

He had keen eyes. He was exceptionally proficient in the use of his Byakugan…yet his wide range of vision failed to make him see what had been right before him, all along. He had been blinded by his own selfishness.

It was only that time when he had been able to see clearly. There was no need for him to hurt her, to let her know that he was suffering…because at that time, _she_ was suffering as much as he was. He never needed to make her understand his pain—she already understood.

And he never needed to make her heart hurt, for it was already in too much pain. _She_ was already in too much pain. Her heart had been bleeding for a long time…for her father's sake, for _his_ father's sake, for her own sake, and most especially…for _him_.

She ached for him. She cried for him…and he didn't even know. He didn't see, for he _refused_ to see.

But that was then. Now his eyes were opened. Now, he knew.

He had made a grave mistake.

He had thought she was weak. He had thought _she_ did not deserve _his_ protection—and she did not deserve him.

But all this time, while he was refusing to protect her…_she_ had been protecting _him_.

And that's when he realized—_he_ was the unworthy one. _He_ did not deserve _her_ protection.

_He_ did not deserve _her_.

* * *

END. 

_Author's Notes: _

If I added anything more to this it would be too much of a long narrative rant, so I decided to end it. But yey. This is my first attempt at writing for Naruto. I hope it didn't come out too badly.:)

And why Neji/Hinata, you may ask? It's mainly because I _adore_ Neji, I _adore_ Hinata…and I _adore_ them together.:). Hopefully I can write more on them in the future, if I get inspired.:)

As always, reviews/comments/suggestions/reactions/criticisms/whatever are very much appreciated.


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